Once again, Steph has asked me to contribute my opinion on a subject that's important to her. In this case, it's something a little less trivial than a supposed talent contest for models, it's something pretty close to home. The thing is, Steph wants to undergo a cosmetic procedure to alter something about herself and this generates a number of issues.
As I'm sure all of the blog ladies may have already noticed, Steph's beautiful. I know that as the BF, I have to say it, but the thing is, its totally true. Every time I tell her this, I mean it, its never said lightly or without conviction.
So maintaining that this is the case, what could she possibly want to change about herself? She's convinced that she has a "double chin" which makes her look massively fat around the face. I say this with no fear of reprisal as she would doubtless tell you herself. In order to correct this "flaw," her mother has offered to pay for a surgical treatment to bring in her jawline a bit and make her face look thinner (Steph: in layman's terms, its lipo under the chin).
The subject of fairly constant debate, the procedure now looks likely to go ahead in the near future and it still has us divided. On the one hand, I'm supposed to support her in whatever she chooses to do (and in fairness, i pretty much do) but upon the other, why should somebody so pretty have to change? I look at her and see a beautiful person (not some idealised version of her mind you, i see her in her jammies at 8 at night eating nasty rustler burgers and the occasional belch also makes an appearance! Steph: Cant believe you wrote that Fras!The only reason I'm not taking that out is because i told you i wouldn't censor anything you wrote. swine! ) who shouldn't for a second think she has to change. I can't fathom why she would want to change yet she has her heart set on it.
This to me is a sad indictment of the values i discussed in the last guest post i did. Everybody today seems to strive for some unattainable ideal that is constantly forced upon them by a media based around selling things to an unwitting public. We strive to look perfect but more than likely never will. Some of us are unfortunate enough to have people in our lives who reinforce negative views of ourselves either to make themselves feel better or to assert their superiority. Sadly for Steph, the person who seems to fit this role most readily is her mum. Though I'm certain she loves her daughter and that is not in question here, I frequently see her failing to show the appropriate support a parent should. Rather than the unconditional support one might expect, steph's mum frequently undermines her confidence and fails to see just how fantastic a daughter she's lucky enough to have (Steph: Id partly agree with this. Lets just say my Mum and I don't have the most straight forward relationship)
Unfortunately, many people are all too quick to buy into the opinions of others, no matter how damaging they may be and this can lead to an unhealthy desire for change or "self improvement." Glossy style magazines and media images of "perfection" are only reinforcing this and moulding the minds of malleable young women the length of the country. Why aren't people quicker to embrace diversity and learn to love things about themselves that others do? And why do we so readily fixate on our flaws, discounting the excellent qualities we doubtless possess that outweigh them?
Is that what is happening here? A media enforced desire for change? Or a deeper insecurity being nourished over time to the point where its unmanageable?
Personally, I see no reason for my girlfriend to change. I think she's just awesome the way she is, and wouldn't change her for the world. I find it difficult to reconcile this idea with how she feels about herself and can only hope that something so radical will bring her the peace of mind she seeks. So long as the television and magazines keep telling us not to have that peace of mind, it only becomes more difficult and really only a matter of time until something else is wrong...